When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... "-Author Unknown. Credit to http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm
This will come as a huge shock to some of you I realize. So I'm serious when I say brace yourself for some bad news. If you're ready, read on. If you're not ready, stop reading now and come back some other time.
Butters was stuck and killed by a car on Sunday.
Jeremiah and the kids were stacking wood in the garage and I didn't see the door left open. It was always a fear of mine he'd get out to the front and suffice to say, he did just that. For those that knew him, you knew know how he liked to run. We couldn't keep him from doing it, we've tried and tried...that was just Butters.
We raced him to the vet and he held on long enough for me to talk to him as he passed without pain. He made the decision easy for me as the only humane thing to do would have been to put him down, he was far too hurt for anyone to fix him but he never let on he was. I didn't want to make the decision for him and thankfully he made the decision on his own.
He had love surrounding him. I let him know it was okay to go. Jeremiah says he was holding on to hear the words from me as up until then I kept telling him to hang on which was more for the kids sake than my own. I was right there talking to him and holding him and petting him and loving on him.
We buried him in the yard in a lovely spot in a grove of trees and placed a headstone on his grave.We still have Rainy's ashes we've drug from El Paso to Ca. and back east again that we'll sprinkle in the same spot someday. I never in a million years though that 2 months into living here we'd already be starting the pet cemetery. How painful life can be sometimes.
For those of you who knew him who are inclined to call and talk about this specifically, I ask that you don't. The children are handling it much better than I had expected especially given the circumstances and the way Rachel is so sensitive. I, on the other hand, am crushed and heartbroken and cannot bring myself to talk about it much and trying to hide the pain as best as possible from the kids as it's just one more thing to miss and they don't need the extra tears from mama. I'd much prefer to call and tell you but if that were to happen you probably wouldn't find out about it until you came to visit and noticed he wasn't here. So, better this way than not at all I suppose.
What makes it worse is that his presence surrounds me specifically nearly every minute of the day in everything I do from cooking dinner (canine vacuum cleaner and mop) to washing clothes (dog hair on the fleece sweatshirts) and the halls are vacant of the click clack of his toe nails down the tiled hall floor. There's no longer anyone to greet me at the door or protect over us whilst laying comfortably on the couch, recliner or bed. I am sure most of you know exactly how we feel. I think Rachel said it best that we're thankful for the time we did have and he's in a much better place now and thanked him for all his years of loyal service. It's the truth, hard to accept as it is.
We've had our pity party complete with lots of sweet treats, lotsa tears and now it's time to get on with livin' because what else is there to do?
**An update as of Tuesday afternoon and I am better today. The Rainbow Bridge, whether it exists or not, always helps with grief from the loss of a beloved pet. Butters wouldn't want us to be sad. He's free of fences and limits and free of twitches from distemper long ago.
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| Above and below: The day we brought him home. Already making himself at home on the couch. |
We couldn't keep you from running this time pal. You were doing what you loved.
You were a good dog and we all love you. You were our great protector in a little yellow package. You had a big bark and a big heart.You will be greatly missed.
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| The "I did something naughty" look |
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| Protector |
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| So interested in the new baby Andrew the day we brought him home. |
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| Great Friend |
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| Binky protector |
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| Giggle motivator |
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| Pal |
