"Reading the Water" , Perspective, Geographical Oddities, Life Immitating Art & Joy

I swear to you, if our lives were books -despite being not a bit fictional- the stories the pages held sometimes would seem so unbelievable you'd swear it had to be fiction. Unfortunately our real lives just can't be made up, no one has a good enough imagination to recreate our reality!

God knows I love my husband. God knows no one is perfect. Not me, not him, not you. Don't judge, just laugh.

I have changed the names of people and companies to protect those who possess temporary lapses of good judgement and not so honest responses. I take full responsibility for my own decisions so I will play my character and Jeremiah's name stays the same because it's not as if he couldn't be figured out. 

A prelude (of sorts):

 For those of you who know us, you may understand the partial befitting title once you read the following post. For those of you who weren't privy to be there when Jeremiah "could read the water" or have heard the story, a short summary: While living in El Paso, Jeremiah wanted to go for a drive. Long story short, our F350 was dead weight in a flooded creek with water up over the hood one particular Sunday about 8 1/2 years ago after Jeremiah said everything would be fine, he "could read the water"! I was not happy to say the least & he STILL blames me to this day mentioning that if I hadn't been "bitching" to be let out with our year old daughter, he could have gunned it and made it across. I envisioned something out of the Dukes of Hazard with Rachel and I screaming "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAW"  at the top of our lungs but Jeremiah begrudgingly obliged  and let us out. Rachel and I stood on the bank while Jeremiah gunned it (He says he was already committed to go forward  (never-mind that the truck DOES have reverse!). And then the truck was up "shit creek", excuse my language but it's very befitting seeing as how the following day we stripped the inside of the cab and buckets and buckets of  rabbit/turtle/deer/etc. manure tainted flood waters flowed out. It's something we laugh about now, as does everyone else who knew about it and for those in the know, when you ask if anything is a good decision, you have to follow it up with the statement, "can you "read the water?"

On to the story: The how and the why's of how it all began aren't really all that important. Suffice to say that a friend's son (almost 17) got his vehicle (a Ford Escape) stuck at the lapping edges of a local lake- about 400-500 feet from the barricaded end of the road where vehicles are supposed to park- when he ignored the parking turnabout and went through a path cut through the trees. Jeremiah had gone out the night before when the friends called asking for a tow rope or chain, but the rain and lightening were so bad he called it a lost cause for the night and came home with the friends and their boy in tow.

June 19. I am peacefully minding my own business enjoying the last few hours of my birthday relaxing on the couch when Jeremiah asked if I was game to go see if we can get the car out. "No" was my response, I clearly remember that part. However, this post wouldn't be nearly as long if I didn't sometimes give my blessing for Jeremiah to use poor judgment to do what he wanted to do and we wouldn't have cause to create ridiculous historical memories, so I told him whatever he decided was fine. I would come to regret those words.

He convinced a (since graduated) former student to go along and we all load up in 2 separate trucks to go down to the lake. It was a nice drive, the wheat fields are almost ready for harvest. It gives meaning to the words, "amber waves of grain". We've gotten significant rain and the grass is green. At the end of a fairly long dirt road was a small turnabout for cars to park and 2 metal barricades. Most people would take that as a sign that you must park and walk the rest of the way. We walked down to the water's edge, which was about 500 foot away from the turnabout, the lake is very low due to drought but there, in the lapping waves was one very stuck Ford Escape. After talking a bit and doing a bit of checking of the compaction of the sand out to the car, we decided Jeremiah would go in the F350. All was going along well until he turned up- bank, the sand got soft and then things went down hill. He was in 4 (wheel drive) low, he said, but came to too quick of a stop and sunk like a lead weight. "CRAP", I thought, but actually I was quite relieved knowing at that point we could call AAA and be done with it all, pull the vehicles out and go to dinner. Oh ye of little faith, Amanda.

I would love to tell you that was the end of the story and that everyone went out for birthday cake. But no, the night is still quite young! Instead of calling AAA, Jeremiah and Gabe decide Gabe's truck was lighter and has wider mud tires and certainly he could pull them out. I just shook my head and decided we were in it for the long haul. The children, by this time, had managed to get completely filthy playing in the muddy sand and water. Gabe drove onto the shore and made it along just fine, turned around, backed up to hook a tow rope to the Escape, started pulling and broke suction...and then...SUNK! Oh my LORD! THAT was our ride out. The boys talked ahead of time and had a back up plan. Their back up plan included several people with vehicles light weight enough to pull them out if they were to both get stuck or at give us a ride home!. That was about the time smoke could be seen coming out of my ears and I told Jeremiah whatever plan #3 was, GET ON IT!

Jeremiah had already tried digging out the tires a little. Oh, and about the digging part. The night before Jeremiah put shovels into the back of the truck when they went out in the storm. Jeremiah took them out to go to the dump yesterday and AS WE WERE LEAVING the driveway, I asked him if he had put them back in. His response, "No, but it'll be okay." Somewhere faintly in the background I could hear the familiar words "I can read the water" wafting around in la la land! I said under my breath, "I'll remember that one, silently." He did remember to bring a friggen' chainsaw though because he said there was a branch, "he was not quite sure about"! Okay, great...we might be stuck without a shovel but maybe we can saw our way out!

While Gabe was on the phone I got on my hands and knees. With the "...it'll be okay" shovel (i.e. my bare friggen' hands), I started digging like a mad woman. Mind you, I had not intended to do ANY digging. I wasn't really dressed for digging!!! I told the kids, who were completely filthy at that point, get dirty and DIG! They happily obliged. The lake is surrounded by trees and I walked the 200 feet to the willows and started picking up downed trees with lots of thin bendy limbs to act as "snow shoes". I figure if it worked and we got out, I could tell them I saw it on "Man vs. Wild" (Reality TV show) -which I didn't- the "snow shoe" idea just seemed logical and I needed comic relief.

While I dug and my blood boiled I sang a little tune to pass the time about being in Folsom Prison because of an act of murder I was about to commit, I learned that the back up plan A. (i.e. the other individuals with lightweight trucks that could come pull us out) was in Colorado and the others truck was in the shop! So much for back up plans, right? AAA was eventually called and I had finished my "snow shoe" experiment and asked Jeremiah to give it a try.

SUCCESS...for about 25 feet..5 feet away from complete success before he sunk...again! It was getting dark and the hour I had just spent hauling willow limbs would need to all be done again as the previous ones were too far in the mud to re-use. I was done at that point while people sat around on their phones.

So, this tow company that Gabe called... I asked Gabe, "How long did the tow company say they'd be?". Gabe said, "He said half an hour." Let me pause for a minute...Have you ever seen "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"? One of my favorite parts is when "Everett" (George Clooney) visits a general store and needs a few items - a part for a car which had to be ordered and "Dapper Dan" hair gel of which the store didn't carry Dapper Dan, they carried "Fob". Everett said he didn't want Fob, "He was a Dapper Dan man...". The clerk mentioned it could be ordered. The response was always something to the affect of, "I can get it in about 2 weeks". Everett McGill was tired of that answer and said to him (edited), "Ain't that a geographical oddity, 2 weeks from everywhere!".

Our last experience with AAA was a couple of months ago when we needed a tow on a truck we bought to get it home. It was freezing cold, the truck didn't start like it should have and Jeremiah called AAA and was told the tow would be there in half an hour. Half an hour meant 1 hour and 45 minutes. So, I asked Gabe if by chance he knew who the tow company was (there are only a few in Hutch where we assumed they'd be coming from) even though I knew deep down it was "Bob's Car Care" and so it came as no surprise when he said, "Bob's Car Care". I thought, "Now, isn't that a geographical oddity, half an hour from everywhere!". Half an hour was about 2 hours later! In the mean time, it was basically pitch black and we had nothing left to do but sit and boil...sit and think nice thoughts about each other....sit.

Ten ten at night we finally see headlights...not one set but two. Since I had no idea who was calling who, I was in the dark about who was actually coming to save these idiots, myself included. I may have said out loud something to the affect of, "Great, they are probably here to kill us!" Rachel, of course, goes into hysterics and up 'til then the kids were thinking this outing was pretty dang cool because Mom let them get FILTHY and this was a real adventure!  I had to reassure her that I was kidding. Though, murder at that point, sounded kind of reasonable.

I question whether to leave you hanging here and continue this saga on another post because certainly what I am about to say is just going to blow your mind!

To be continued...