Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Revisiting The Poopy Little Potty

Alternately titled: 3 Weeks

I wrote this a few years ago when Andrew was two and we were still living in California. When I have rough days, I reread this and trudge on knowing that even poopy days can be funny...eventually. I thought you might enjoy it too.

The short version of what happens around here in 3 weeks in no coherent order. Some names may have been changed to protect the innocent, er...to respect the dead...whichever.

  • wake up
  • cook a meal
  • eat a meal
  • clean up after a meal
  • load meal dishes into dishwasher
  • convince 2 year old he no longer needs his little potty
  • wave bye bye to little potty
  • take little potty outside (but not far enough away that 2 year can't eventually find it)
  • feed goats
  • milk goats
  • preschool field trip to local park (we walk)
  • 5 year old preschooler breaks away from my hand and nearly runs into street
  • retrieve 5 year old and feel like an unfit chaperon
  • not invited back to school
  • feed goats
  • milk goats
  • buy grain
  • adolescent breakdown (a.k.a. throwing a fit)
  • sleep
  • eat
  • work on new goat pasture
  • run electric wire for new goat pasture
  • cook a meal
  • eat a meal
  • clean up after a meal
  • adolescent breakdown
  • load meal dishes into dishwasher
  • feed goats
  • milk goats
  • fight with ill mannered strong ugly Hephzibah goat
  • laundry
  • take daughter to preschool
  • laundry
  • hang laundry out
  • adolescent breakdown
  • pick up daughter from preschool
  • bring laundry in
  • throw laundry on chair in corner
  • forget about  ignore heaped unfolded laundry in chair
  • cook a meal
  • eat a meal
  • clean up after a meal
  • load meal dishes into dishwasher
  • feed goats
  • milk goats
  • fight with ill mannered ugly Hephzibah goat...again
  • quiet time with husband toss husband a kiss on the fly as he walks out the door again for work, er school...wait what day is it again???
  • cook a meal
  • hear about how my 5 year old isn't a vegetarian and will not eat meat
  • explain to 5 year old that not being a vegetarian means you eat meat
  • so eat the damn dern meat!
  • fed up with non-vegetarian non-meat eating 5 year old and I lie saying cow died peacefully in its sleep and if she and ill mannered ugly Hephzibah goat don't behave, ill mannered ugly Hephzibah goat will be on non-vegetarian non-meat eating 5 year old's plate next!
  • laughing 2 year old explains he's going to eat Hephzibah goat because she pushes him down in the poop
  • disgruntled 5 year old
  • satisfied mother
  • eat a meal
  • find 2 year old swigging my beer
  • smile because it's been a long dang day and almost think I hear CPS knocking on my door
  • clean up after a meal
  • load meal dishes into dishwasher
  • sleep
  • find son dragging in little potty from outside
  • tell 2 year old to take potty back outside
  • 2 year old doesn't obey
  • adolescent breakdown
  • scold 2 year old and put in a time out for being disobedient
  • throw potty back outside on the porch
  • cook a meal
  • eat a meal
  • clean up after a meal
  • load meal dishes into dishwasher
  • answer door bell
  • hand neighbor egg salad sandwiches I had made earlier from eggs of over producing chickens.
  • walk neighbor to the gate
  • step up onto porch and notice there is something in little potty
  • decide it's dirt but swear it looks like poop
  • realize that neighbors were JUST standing on front porch probably thinking how gross that there is a little potty outside on the porch with poop in it and MUST think I am disgusting for throwing poopy little potty outside on porch instead of cleaning it!
  • cook a meal
  • eat a meal
  • clean up after a meal
  • load meal dishes into dishwasher
  • ignore little putrid poopy porch potty
  • feed goats
  • milk goats
  • sleep...

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