I wrote this a few years ago when Andrew was two and we were still living in California. When I have rough days, I reread this and trudge on knowing that even poopy days can be funny...eventually. I thought you might enjoy it too.
The short version of what happens around here in 3 weeks in no coherent order. Some names may have been changed to protect the innocent, er...to respect the dead...whichever.
- wake up
- cook a meal
- eat a meal
- clean up after a meal
- load meal dishes into dishwasher
- convince 2 year old he no longer needs his little potty
- wave bye bye to little potty
- take little potty outside (but not far enough away that 2 year can't eventually find it)
- feed goats
- milk goats
- preschool field trip to local park (we walk)
- 5 year old preschooler breaks away from my hand and nearly runs into street
- retrieve 5 year old and feel like an unfit chaperon
not invited back to school- feed goats
- milk goats
- buy grain
- adolescent breakdown (a.k.a. throwing a fit)
- sleep
- eat
- work on new goat pasture
- run electric wire for new goat pasture
- cook a meal
- eat a meal
- clean up after a meal
- adolescent breakdown
- load meal dishes into dishwasher
- feed goats
- milk goats
- fight with ill mannered strong ugly Hephzibah goat
- laundry
- take daughter to preschool
- laundry
- hang laundry out
- adolescent breakdown
- pick up daughter from preschool
- bring laundry in
- throw laundry on chair in corner
forget aboutignore heaped unfolded laundry in chair- cook a meal
- eat a meal
- clean up after a meal
- load meal dishes into dishwasher
- feed goats
- milk goats
- fight with ill mannered ugly Hephzibah goat...again
quiet time with husbandtoss husband a kiss on the fly as he walks out the door again for work, er school...wait what day is it again???- cook a meal
- hear about how my 5 year old isn't a vegetarian and will not eat meat
- explain to 5 year old that not being a vegetarian means you eat meat
- so eat the
damndern meat! - fed up with non-vegetarian non-meat eating 5 year old and I lie saying cow died peacefully in its sleep and if she and ill mannered ugly Hephzibah goat don't behave, ill mannered ugly Hephzibah goat will be on non-vegetarian non-meat eating 5 year old's plate next!
- laughing 2 year old explains he's going to eat Hephzibah goat because she pushes him down in the poop
- disgruntled 5 year old
- satisfied mother
- eat a meal
- find 2 year old swigging my beer
- smile because it's been a long dang day and almost think I hear CPS knocking on my door
- clean up after a meal
- load meal dishes into dishwasher
- sleep
- find son dragging in little potty from outside
- tell 2 year old to take potty back outside
- 2 year old doesn't obey
- adolescent breakdown
- scold 2 year old and put in a time out for being disobedient
- throw potty back outside on the porch
- cook a meal
- eat a meal
- clean up after a meal
- load meal dishes into dishwasher
- answer door bell
- hand neighbor egg salad sandwiches I had made earlier from eggs of over producing chickens.
- walk neighbor to the gate
- step up onto porch and notice there is something in little potty
- decide it's dirt but swear it looks like poop
- realize that neighbors were JUST standing on front porch probably thinking how gross that there is a little potty outside on the porch with poop in it and MUST think I am disgusting for throwing poopy little potty outside on porch instead of cleaning it!
- cook a meal
- eat a meal
- clean up after a meal
- load meal dishes into dishwasher
- ignore little putrid poopy porch potty
- feed goats
- milk goats
- sleep...
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