Revisiting The Poopy Little Potty

Alternately titled: 3 Weeks

I wrote this a few years ago when Andrew was two and we were still living in California. When I have rough days, I reread this and trudge on knowing that even poopy days can be funny...eventually. I thought you might enjoy it too.

The short version of what happens around here in 3 weeks in no coherent order. Some names may have been changed to protect the innocent, er...to respect the dead...whichever.

• wake up
• cook a meal
• eat a meal
• clean up after a meal
• load meal dishes into dishwasher
• convince 2 year old he no longer needs his little potty
• wave bye bye to little potty
• take little potty outside (but not far enough away that 2 year can't eventually find it)
• feed goats
• milk goats
• preschool field trip to local park (we walk)
• 5 year old preschooler breaks away from my hand and nearly runs into street
• retrieve 5 year old and feel like an unfit chaperon
• not invited back to school
• feed goats
• milk goats
• buy grain
• adolescent breakdown (a.k.a. throwing a fit)
• sleep
• eat
• work on new goat pasture
• run electric wire for new goat pasture
• cook a meal
• eat a meal
• clean up after a meal
• adolescent breakdown
• load meal dishes into dishwasher
• feed goats
• milk goats
• fight with ill mannered strong ugly Hephzibah goat
• laundry
• take daughter to preschool
• laundry
• hang laundry out
• adolescent breakdown
• pick up daughter from preschool
• bring laundry in
• throw laundry on chair in corner
• forget about  ignore heaped unfolded laundry in chair
• cook a meal
• eat a meal
• clean up after a meal
• load meal dishes into dishwasher
• feed goats
• milk goats
• fight with ill mannered ugly Hephzibah goat...again
• quiet time with husband toss husband a kiss on the fly as he walks out the door again for work, er school...wait what day is it again???
• cook a meal
• hear about how my 5 year old isn't a vegetarian and will not eat meat
• explain to 5 year old that not being a vegetarian means you eat meat
• so eat the damn dern meat!
• fed up with non-vegetarian non-meat eating 5 year old and I lie saying cow died peacefully in its sleep and if she and ill mannered ugly Hephzibah goat don't behave, ill mannered ugly Hephzibah goat will be on non-vegetarian non-meat eating 5 year old's plate next!
• laughing 2 year old explains he's going to eat Hephzibah goat because she pushes him down in the poop
• disgruntled 5 year old
• satisfied mother
• eat a meal
• find 2 year old swigging my beer
• smile because it's been a long dang day and almost think I hear CPS knocking on my door
• clean up after a meal
• load meal dishes into dishwasher
• sleep
• find son dragging in little potty from outside
• tell 2 year old to take potty back outside
• 2 year old doesn't obey
• adolescent breakdown
• scold 2 year old and put in a time out for being disobedient
• throw potty back outside on the porch
• cook a meal
• eat a meal
• clean up after a meal
• load meal dishes into dishwasher
• answer door bell
• hand neighbor egg salad sandwiches I had made earlier from eggs of over producing chickens.
• walk neighbor to the gate
• step up onto porch and notice there is something in little potty
• decide it's dirt but swear it looks like poop
• realize that neighbors were JUST standing on front porch probably thinking how gross that there is a little potty outside on the porch with poop in it and MUST think I am disgusting for throwing poopy little potty outside on porch instead of cleaning it!
• cook a meal
• eat a meal
• clean up after a meal
• load meal dishes into dishwasher
• ignore little putrid poopy porch potty
• feed goats
• milk goats
• sleep...

Thanksgiving Menu

Dear Cousins,

In our ongoing effort to live frugally off the land -and the fact you'll be coming so far, I really don't expect you to bring the turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, pie and everything else too- I've put together the Thanksgiving Day menu. Read it over and if you need any revisions due to dietary concerns, please let me know.

We had thought about just plain dressing, maybe even going wild and doing a cornbread dressing but all summer long we've had a toad in our garage who has become rather large. He scares the children by jumping out as they venture in to feed the dog in socks or bare feet. I've heard of sausage stuffing before so I figured, what the heck...they eat frog in France, with enough seasoning, I think toad dressing would be really good stuffed inside a bird!

Speaking of the pièce de résistance though, I think we're going to forgo the bird. We considered goat but in an effort to let them grow a bit larger to maximize our "harvest", we decided against either when last night there was a 'possum on the porch that was eating the cat food. He looked rather large and we thought that would certainly be a divine treat! So, unless you object, we're having 'possum. I really think the toad stuffing will lend itself quite well to 'possum!

As for sides, it's been a tough year for the garden due to the lack of rain and persistent 100+ degree temps. All we really got out of it were heaps of dried corn stalks and pricker bushes. So, I'm not entirely sure we'll be having a side or if we'll just be dining on toad stuffing and roasted 'possum while we make corn stalk dolls with prickers for eyes.

Come to think of it, we did get a pretty good rain a few weeks ago that brought back my watermelon plants from the brink of extinction. We never did get any melons off of it but the leaves look pretty good. Maybe I could use some of that extra toad stuffing and do like the Greek do with their stuffed grape leaves. 

The walnut harvest was pretty poor too but we did manage to salvage a few before the squirrels got them. Jeremiah said that squirrel hunting should only happen in the winter due to specific parasites that don't survive in the cold. Squirrel is out of the question for the main course or as a side and with the 'possum and toad, I think we're got the protein covered anyway. As for the walnuts, we don't have a cinnamon tree but do you think black locust tree bark would due in a pinch? Sugar is a staple so I'm kinda wondering how lightly toasted walnuts with a black locust tree bark simple syrup would taste. Yes, that should make a delicious dessert and should be really good over home made goat's milk ice cream.


Variety will be sparse, but I think we'll be okay in the end. It's mostly about family anyway, right?

My love to all, can't wait to see you for Thanksgiving!

P.S. Don't even worry about the pickles and olives, I really think this 'possum will come pretty darn close to those behemoth birds you all buy anyway! They'll be plenty!

We're frugal...and crazy!

Make no mistake, we know how to save a buck. We also feel excitement at the thought of old time farming. Well, okay I do. If Jeremiah had his way, all baling the hay on the property would mean is pushing a few buttons  for coordinates and sitting in an air conditioned cab while the tractor did absolutely everything else. As it stands, A. we do not have the money for a $100K+ tractor and implements that do all that and B. we have nowhere near the property to require that.

What do we have? Let me rephrase that, what do I have? I have a desire to get out there in the coolness of the morning and cut hay...the old fashioned way...with a scythe. I seriously doubt it would be worth it to pay someone to come out and cut and bale it for us. Even swathing it (cutting it) would be cost prohibitive I think. We could do it on a shares system, but I' really like to try my hand at cutting it all by hand.

Jeremiah said when he was younger he could beat the pants off his brothers in a head to head competition- weed eater vs. scythe. In which, he had the scythe and they had the weed eater. I don't doubt it, I've watched videos. And while I am not so naive to think that there isn't some work involved, it could be fun...if for just a little while anyway. So, that's the plan. Where I will find time for this hand cutting and hand baling, I don't know. Maybe by next year somehow in the infinite universe of perpetual time, more time will be created and somehow my body will become less tired and able to work longer. Pipe dream? Perhaps. I'd still like to give it a whirl though.

As far as this hand baling...I'm not so big on the hay stack thing. I thought, for sure in this day and age someone has built a hand baler!! Sure enough, you Google search "hand baler" and up pops a device used a lot in Texas for pine straw bales. Pine straw is nothing more than pine needles baled up and used for landscaping purposes though I am sure this type of hand baler was probably used way way back when in some form before baling machinery came out, or was in its early stages or whatever. ANYWAY, because we have infinite time on our hands (guffaw!), I'd like to build one of them fancy hand balers too. it consists of nothing more than a tall box with a front door and a plunger. Easy enough right? Yeah, I could just see the kids out there with me on a cool sweltering July morning happily begrudgingly carrying arms fulls of sweet smelling itchy dry hay to the hand baler and the joy disgust an disdain on their faces when out pops another heavy bail to move into the barn. Yep, sounds like a right mighty good time!

Kitties and sewing

As usual, we're busy!

A few weekends ago we headed north for our last load of hay. I dare say we'll have plenty but with the way things are, one can not be too prepared. I certainly hope this was just a funny year with the lack of rain. Next year I hope to be baling our own hay, scythe cut (by hand) and baled by hand as well. More on that later.

While up getting hay, we also spent the day at Jo's helping install a bathtub. They adopted 2 kittens and while the kids did not specifically ask for a kitty of their own, they sure did like them. Who couldn't love an adorable kitty? I sure do, at someone elses house! So this non-asking on the part of the children turned into these...a "Beauty" and a "Heidi". Don't ask me how it happened but those are our kitties on our bed! Exactly how does one drive 90 miles to pick up hay and help install a bathtub and come home with 2 kitties? Yeah, I'm kinda stumped too!


I managed to barely get done with fair sewing in time to turn my projects in. Jo and her kids came down Monday and we went to the fair for the day. My diaper took a 3rd place ribbon in the "other than classified" category. As far as I can tell my dress did not place at all. Who would of thunk that a cloth diaper would take 3rd when they probably didn't even know what it was???

Had I known they were into pretty and not function in the dress category, I wouldn't have bothered. Yes, Rachel did get a nice dress out of it but it seems the winners, in this great state of function and form and grit, prefer a wear once, stay the hell out of the dirt and sit quietly with your hands folded in your lap type of outfit. Am I jealous? Not really, just more determined for next year. The other outfits were nice, no doubt. Next year I need more lace and frills apparently and I'll go smaller scale with it...a concentrated form so as not to use so much fabric while making this stay the hell out of the dirt, sit with your hands folded in your lap type of outfit.

I'd be better off in a pine box

The fam. and I attended the Hutch. high football game last night. The half time performance left spit flowing down my chin for the lack of ability to psychically lift up my lower jaw to its normal position being so dumbfounded by the performance of the "drill team" (the Salt Shakers, as they call them). I immediately felt the need to write a letter to the editor of the Hutchinson News. As of Saturday morning it is not sent, but here it is for my loving blog readers to read over while I stew on this.

___________________________________________________________

Call me old fashioned -and for a thirty one year old mother of two children ages 5 and 7 who grew up in LOS ANGELS of all places, I hardly think "old fashioned" is accurate- but the Hutch. High Salt Shakers performance to Kesha's "Boots and Boys" on Friday night has me coining a phrase from a Dierks Bently's song, "What Was She Thinkin". What could the coach(es) have been thinking to allow such a song to be used for a performance of young girls at a high school football game in front of people young and old? I kid you not, it was jaw-dropping! The disbelief of my husband and I as we sat next to our 7 year old daughter while she smiled and moved to the music and greatly admired the girls dance (without completely understanding the full scope of it all) so provocatively to a song with lyrics I wouldn't even let a teenager listen to on You Tube! Our daughter said to me, "I want to be a salt shaker when I grow up!" My response? "I'd be better off in a pine box!"

When did it become okay for teenage girls to dance in such a way? What happened to the great non-sexually oriented corrigraphy of yesterday? What happened to wholesome? My husband, kids and I attend the home games for a few reasons. One: to support the school, support the students and support the community. Secondly: to spend quality time with our children doing something we all enjoy. Normally we'd be at home piled on our bed watching a family movie like we try to do every Friday night after a week separated by school and work and life. It is hard enough to raise children these days with wholesome values, morals, ethics, responsibility, etc. when sending them out in the world but then to also be bombarded by the opposite at -what I would consider- a family friendly event. Perhaps the tractor pull at the fair would have been a better choice!

THIS IS A SMALL PORTION OF WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA! You may say that times are changing and we must change with them. Certain "times" are changing because certain parents and (ir)responsible adults are getting lazy and have little to no values themselves apparently. Is that too harsh for a seemingly innocent dance to a seemingly innocent song by seemingly innocent young girls? I think not.

That single performance leaves me wondering if we should even be attending football games any longer. At the very least, one of the most favorite parts to the whole event (half time) will be spent visiting the concession; and while I am not at all opposed to supporting the concession, I'd really like to support the rest of the contributors too! At least the band and concession haven't also joined the ranks of ludicrous! I can just barely deal with profanity screaming fans in the stands (after all, it IS just a game!) but to have to blindfold and put hearing protection on my children to shield them from the half time show is absurd. I wonder, is the bathroom a safe haven during the half time show for those patrons who didn't come to a night club? Sitting away from the cheerleaders explicit moves is optional, bombardment by the drill team was not.

The coaches, parents and responsible adults in charge of these young girls are doing them a serious injustice. 

"Another One [family event] Bites the Dust".

Disappointed in Hutch.
Amanda Harmon
Hutchinson, Ks.

We're ants, not grasshoppers!

Collecting and stacking

100 bales- too tired to stack in the barn so we backed it into the shop. The next best thing!

We drove up to Abilene on Saturday early in the morning to pick up another hundred bales of alfalfa. Our last load I think! Then we went to Jo's. She's getting the house ready to put on the market and Jeremiah installed a bathtub that ended up taking 2 days. Remodeling is never EVER simple and there's always snags in the road. Jeremiah and I ended up driving back late Saturday night so that I could feed and milk Sunday morning. The kids stayed. He was able to finish it up Sunday and by Sunday afternoon we were back on the road again and pooped! Every single one of us!

I am still working on the Living room! Yesterday I finally got the ceiling primed after the whole fiasco of the little bit of texture that was left started peeling off I went ahead and re-textured it with soupy drywall mud and a texture roller. I should be able to finish up the living room this weekend.

Jeremiah cut down a bunch of old dead or dying trees about the property. The kids and I started collecting from the many stacks we had around and putting it in one central location. What we got done, the children though, was plenty to get us though. I chuckled because ALL of what we collected and stacked in a few hours yesterday was about all we did to start last year beginning in October and we thought it would be plenty. Turns out it was plenty...for about 3 weeks! Then we were out again. HA! Another year old and another year wiser, we'll keep collecting and stacking little by little so that we're not grumbling about getting out on a cold January day to do it out of necessity!

The old timers this that because of the hard summer we've had, we should expect an equally hard winter. They say for as many days over we've had (I lost count), we'll have as many days below freezing...or was it below zero?? Oy, I'd appreciate neither.

Slow but sure...