Wordless Wednesday: Dusting

Conversations with kids: Death by Brassiere

Not to be confused with Death by Dairy Goat, two totally different subjects.

I bought a new bra for myself yesterday, one of the very few...well, um, luxuries I splurge on. I guess if you could call it that.

It was on the kitchen table with all the shopping and grocery bags yesterday and just as the groceries had not been put away, neither had the bra. Jeremiah, being a man, picks it up and I am sure I could spew off several of the thousand things that were running through his head about it but no need because in steps Drew.

Jeremiah commenced to torment the poor child. Drew was really caught between a rock and a hard place, so to speak, knowing he was probably 99% sure that Daddy was kidding when he said I had purchased it for him. However, there was a slight 1% of doubt where he wasn't really sure. I could see the look of questioning in his eye...the look of worried, sickened, frightened, utter disdain questioning in his eyes.

Never fear though, Rachel -not wanting to be left out and since no one had actually mentioned exactly what great gift we were talking about- stepped in and right on que, I  released Drew from his inner turmoil and mentioned I had bought it for Rachel. Relief...for Drew.

So, imagine, if you will...it's Friday morning, we're all scrambling a bit to get about our day. Jeremiah is holding up unmentionables in the kitchen while our two young children are being accused tormented held accountable of ownership. Jeremiah is taking shear delight in all of this as Rachel proceeds to say, "That is not my bra. My boobies are not that big!!!" (never-mind that she doesn't HAVE boobies!)

And the mood goes silent on Momma's end, Jeremiah and the kids are hysterical. Thank you Rachel, you've made my Friday. Why does nothing ever end well for Momma???

I had wanted to give a good George Jones rendition of "It's Finally Friday" but rather, it's left me feeling like belting out a Bette Midler classic from Beaches of "Otto Titsling"!

Wordless Wednesday: It's a Wonderful Rough Life

Another Fabulous Weekend

Jo, Frank and the kids came up for the weekend. Course, I decided that it was a good time to get sick so pretty much all of Saturday I spent lying on the couch contemplating puking. Drew was sick the week prior. No, we don't get the flu shot. I'd rather have the flu, even in the thick of this sickness, whatever it is. .

I did manage to haul my butt off the couch so we could make soap- (1st batch) blueberry pomegranate & (2nd batch) brown sugar & cinnamon but after thinking about it some...I have to wonder if the brown sugar will leave one more sticky than clean...hrmph. Oh well, time will tell once it cures. It's super pretty though!

Sunday we made a boat load of cookies and the whole time the guys were in the shop welding  a platform for an auxiliary fuel tank for the Abair's truck so 2x4's or plywood can be slid underneath- nothin' worse than a full size (pickup) bed you can't fully utilize! We don't have such an animal, though I suppose we could but with the camper shell, I don't think we'd really use it. More times than not we end up hooking up the flat bed. Anyway, that's totally uninteresting I suppose. I should have taken a photo of their handiwork but I don't know that I took a single photo the entire weekend. Maybe the next time their down. The guys also installed a pump (or sorts) so that the auxiliary tank pumps right into the on-board tanks. Jeremiah talked about doing this on ours but I almost kinda like having the real gas pump on the actual tank...the pain is getting into the bed to hand the pump through the window but I must say that fueling up at a Nevada hotel from our own vehicle is pretty impressive to some people.

Today and tomorrow we expect rain.  I know we've gotten a lot of it...making up for the lack of it this summer perhaps? So far, I'd say this Fall was nicer than last fall. But then, last Fall I thought was winter and when winter really kicked in (January 1 it seemed), I was ready to kill Mother Nature.This year I wasn't so disillusioned to think that once the calendar actually says winter, it's not going to be green grass and singing daffodils right around the corner.  No ma'am. It has been pretty mild though, I think...or maybe I am am getting used to 40 degrees faster than last year?   

Most of the goat's have settled (their pregnancy). We start kidding mid-March and go into May. We're looking forward to baby goats again and I am looking forward to the higher possibility of not being out in the barn all night in negative four degrees and snow on the ground.

In other news, Rachel has met her 50 point AR reading goal...and BEFORE Christmas. That's awesome. She gets to go to the Imax theater at the Cosmosphere next week as a reward.  Drew brought home several books last night and December's homework is to read them over and over. It's amazing to me...this sounding out and  reading!  Drew excels in Math and isn't doing bad in reading at all but I really think his lack needing glasses but not having them set him back a little last year. Fortunately, I don't think he's at all behind the class though Drew  is Drew and what Drew doesn't want to do (i.e. reading or school work of almost any kind), he puts off. It's a struggle to motivate him. He's smart, he's just...well, lazy. It's the youngest child mentality that someone else will do it for him if he whines enough. Granted, getting a stern scolding for whining isn't fun, but he's still just sweet & smooth talkin' Drew.

Jeremiah is done traveling for a little while. This time last year he was in Vegas. For whatever reason the convention was early this year so they knocked out St. Louis and I didn't have to worry about him missing  school or church Christmas festivities. He goes to Mo. again in January for a welding competition and Tulsa in Feb. I think? If the Mo. trip wasn't such a po'dunk town, I might consider going but there wouldn't be anything for the kids and I to do other than relax and really, relaxing isn't all that relaxing for me.

Oh anyway, about that time for me to get out and feed the herd but not before I find a vice big enough for my head to relieve this head ache!

I'm relishing the little bit of ice I've had to break in the mornings. This time last year I was hauling off inches of ice and bucketing hot water! We have had some nights and mornings in the teens and only just a few days where it stayed below freezing all day but so far, I've not had much to complain about weather-wise. It's a miracle right? Well,  you just wait until next month. You'll get your comeuppance!

Morning thoughts: Ode to goats

Don't jump on me! I hope you did not just get crap on my pants! Dangit, you did get crap on my pants!!! Oh well, a little crap on the pants never hurt anyone.

Hardy Hearty Hair

That's a Kansas Thanksgiving Fer Ya

Exhibit A: Thanksgiving 2010, on the verge of freezing

 

Exhibit B: Thanksgiving 2011, on the verge of frying

Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving!

We're going to go recover from our turkey coma.

Conversations with kids: Yours and Mine

Drew: "Mama, can I have my piece of candy now?" 

Mama: "Well, whose did you eat last night???" 

 Drew: "Yours."

Thanks Mom, Grandma and Hank for the Sees. Drew said it was delicious.

Famous last words

Alternately titled: "I can read the water."

 As promised in the previous blog, the story of what can go wrong when the wifey questions Jeremiah.

Not to embarrass my husband -I do love him after all- and I can't say for sure, since events did not unfold any other way, that it would not have gone as it did if in fact I didn't say anything and just let sleeping dogs lie. But the fact is, things went the way they went, I said what I said and his quote, "I can read the water" has gone down in history as one of those ones like, "You pulled a (insert name here)".

Generally, I am a cautious person. I HAVE KIDS! I am a mom and I don't like people getting hurt or spending money to repair broken things for idiotic mistakes. My husband, on the other hand, is generally a chance takin',  optimistic, thrill seekin', mud flinging, big engine, four wheel drive liking kinda guy. I don't blame him. If I were a man, I probably would too. But, I am not and therefore, when I see thrills, I see blood. When I see mud, I see a lot of cleaning work! When I see big engines and 4-wheel drive, I shake my head...especially if I see my husband BEHIND the wheel of said vehicle. I will say though that I trust his driving more than anyone else's. I know he knows how to drive in the mud an snow. He grew up with all that! Many years later and I think I am safe in saying I believe he used to take his brother's Honda out to go muddling in. If his brother didn't know that by now, my apologies to both my husband and him. It's water under the bridge right? How fitting I should say that given  the nature of this story.

That said, several years ago while we were still living in El Paso, Rachel couldn't have been much more than a year old, we had gotten a massive amount of rain. Jeremiah, being the thrill, mud, big engine and 4 wheel drive loving dude that he is, decides he's gonna take the family out for a drive in the F350. Everything is fantastic, it's a lovely Sunday afternoon, the desert smells fresh and clean. And then, he does it! He leaves the paved road. Now, let me tell you, our house backed up to a VERY large wash. They don't build hoses there for a reason! We were driving the road north towards New Mexico and he left the paved road...to go onto the sand...into the wash...the one that houses are forbade to be built in! The one with signs along the bridge warning of flash flooding! In doing so, I told him I didn't want to leave the road. If you are not familiar with deserts, especially deserts after the rain, chances for flash floods are extremely high! No mind, he tries to convince me it'll only be for just a little bit and everything will be fine. More famous last words.

Now, I don't consider either of us stupid people. I think we're fairly well in tune with the ways of the world. Anyone who knows me knows that I am fairly outspoken, honest and blunt. It's not as if I just let my husband walk all over me so I am sure you are wondering why I was not putting my foot down. Well, the thing is, sometimes I do tend to like to try and trust my husband's judgment. Sometimes it works out, other times, not so much. 

The river, that normally doesn't even have a visible trickle of water in it, is at least 10 foot wide and who only knows how deep. It doesn't look deep but as he's driving towards it I am thinking to myself, "Self, surely he's not going to cross that. No, he'll turn here pretty soon and we'll get up to the main road.". Meanwhile, he's not turning and we're still going directly towards the mini Mississippi. I think, "He must see that right? Because, we still haven't turned and there's no way he's considering crossing that!". Ahhh, well, wishful thinking! I didn't open my mouth until we were about 3 foot away from the ledge of that 'river' when I finally said, "You're not going to try and cross that are you?????". Jeremiah, ever so sweetly and confidentially said, " I can read the water. It's fine, we'll make it."

I told him-and I am pretty sure I was cursing at this point too- "There is NO WAY IN HELL you are going to make it, for one, and for two, there is NO WAY IN HELL, you are taking me and our baby across it in this vehicle. LET US OUT!". A little argument ensued, he insisted he can read the water and that everything will be fine. Finally, I said we are getting out and he can do what he wanted to do. I slid out, got Rachel out of her car seat and we stood there on the bank and watch the 'reading the water' unfold.

Have you ever, like, known something was going to happen, watched it happen in your head, witnessed it happen in real life, but then, couldn't believe what you just saw? Yeah, that's pretty much what happened.

I'll stop here and say that Jeremiah blames me! HE BLAMES ME for all of this. He said if I had just not said anything, if he had been allowed to gun it, not started the plunge from only 3 foot away, I wouldn't even be telling this story. Of course, I think differently because it's not like once we jumped out he couldn't have backed up and just forgot the whole crazy scheme  altogether or even backed up enough for more momentum. He said at that point he was committed because the front wheels were already sinking in the sand. You know, never mind that he could have backed up in 4 wheel drive or put something under the front tires, as I am sure there was piece of wood laying about. But nonetheless, the following happened: I am sure you've already guessed that he got stuck. And not only did he get stuck, he SUNK! Our F350's cab was now flooded with at least 5 inches of water and sand and turtle and rabbit crap!

Rachel and I watched from the shore and my husband had to 'Dukes and Hazard' it out of the window, up onto the hood and jump to the other bank. There have been a few times when I have felt like committing murder, very few, but this was one of them.

I don't think I said anything while he called our neighbor to come pick us up. I am pretty sire I didn't say anything the entire way home because I was so spitting mad my words may have turned into a bullet headed straight for somewhere. The neighbor's husband and Jeremiah took off on Jeremiah's Ford Ranger. That was his plan to try to get the truck out. I was speechless. I don't remember if I questioned him out loud- this plan to use the FORD RANGER to pull out a STUCK F350-but it was no surprise when they came back about 2 hours later, covered in mud & turtle & rabbit crap in the same vehicle they both left in...and no F350.

I mentioned that perhaps the neighbor down the road with a tow truck might be able to get it out. Ahhhh, now there's an idea! While they were gone with that neighbor I called my Mom who was visiting cousins. I am sure they just thought it was hysterical but I was still so spitting mad at that point. This plan for 'reading the water' sure turned out a lot differently than I am sure he envisioned it happening. He probably envisioned all three of us slip sliding, mud flinging, engine revving, 4 wheel drive engaging it through that silly old trickle straight to the other side. Yeah, he probably would have gotten some flack from me on the other side once safe and sound, but that was okay because it was a thrill!  Tthe best laid plans, right?

So, another couple hours later, a case of beer (as payment to the tow truck owner, not for their thirst, or maybe it was, I don't know), some very tense moments (because even the tow truck had a REAL hard time gettin' 'er out) later, and she was parked, sopping wet and disgusting, in the drive way.

That husband of mine, I am sure he can tell you what a great gal he's got. Because, there I was the next day, helping remove seats and flooring, shoveling sand and scrubbing turtle and rabbit crap out of it. To this day, I question his ability to 'read the water'. He knows that while he may catch some flack for not listening to his wife, she's gonna be there by his side instead of murdering him. Mind you, I am sure at that point I got my words in and as punishment and I don't let him forget what happens when he tries to 'read the water'. I like to think occasionally he really does heed my advice but still to this day he has not learned to stay the heck away from situations like that because last year he got the backhoe stuck in the pond twice and both times I pulled him out and he managed to get both vehicles stuck in the snow just to see what would happen if he could get out! A neighbor rescued him there with the tractor. Great job honey, you continue to read the water, I'll continue to love you despite.

Necessity= the mother of invention

Alternately titled: Honky Hook-up

Jeremiah and I thought surely the 'cherry picker' (engine hoist) would work fantastically to get the wood stove into the truck so we could deliver it to its new home in northern Kansas. Surely it would have if the kids hadn't bled off the fluid some time ago. Now the seals are probably bad and it 'bleeds' off every time it's jacked up so that wasn't going to be of any help. What's a person to do? Well, first you need hard headed ever so optimistic and unwilling to give up man, key Jeremiah, and his willing idiot wife, Amanda! You put those two heads together and usually it's an insane successful combination.

Ever wonder how ingenuity can come together to get the job done? Look no further! Let me just say though, this stove is a heavy son of a gun! I mean like, 400 lbs. heavy. I'd like to say 500 lbs. but that's probably pushing it. Honestly, I am a fairly strong person being able to lift 120 lb. alfalfa bales and move them around short distances and these small squares we deal with here in Kansas (55-70) lbs. make me feel like the Incredible Hulk! This stove...not so much! We tried lifting it, the correct way of course, straight from the ground. Yeeeeeah, not gonna happen! So, we think, okay maybe we can 'scaffold' it up. Seems logical right? As we were already late getting on the road, we didn't actually build scaffolding, we jerry rigged improvised and...well, I'll let you see the rest.

Exhibit A: 1' off the ground. Mind you, this was after about 6 lifts to scoot bricks to get it up on these logs in the first place!

Exhibit B: Notice optimistic man in background carrying bricks.

Exhibit C: almost ready for another set of logs all the way around!

Let me interject briefly to say that this is about the time Jeremiah mentions that perhaps we should remove the ash pan! I mean, REALLY? THE ASH PAN!?!?! He says, "Weight is weight". I roll my eyes. Meanwhile, there are probably over a dozen fire bricks in the dag'on thing that we didn't think to remove!!! But, don't forget the ash pan!!!

Exhibit D: Jeremiah: "All right, Honey, are you ready for the lift and shift?" Me: "Um no!"

Exhibit E: I am thinking, "Fabulous, NOW WHAT!?!?!"

Drum roll please....

TA DA!!!!!!

So, needless to say we got that heavy son of a gun in there but let me tell you, it didn't come without a massive load of adrenaline from me to get it to the bumper, some tears, a lot stress and I am sure maybe even some whining and complaining questioning our his sanity and the method. After all, anyone who knows Jeremiah, knows 'he can read the water' (I'll tell you about that story later). I saw this going very badly! Jeremiah said he was quite surprised though as there hadn't been as much carrying on on my part as he would guessed there would be before we started. Thanks a lot, Honey! Wouldn't you question when it took 4 grown men to get it up on the truck the 1st time!?!? Getting it off is the easy part, gravity helps there. It kinda hinders going the opposite way, as I am sure you can imagine.

At any rate, we did it. It wasn't nearly as bad after all. It did take about an hour though but it's delivered and I am relieved it got there in one piece! Nice little stove it is. 'Thomas' is still workin' away for now and we have plans to add a 'room to room' fan and see if that doesn't solve the bubble issue with the un-moveable heat  in the living room.

Drinking, shooting & albino squirrels

You're thinking, "Someone or something surely must have gotten hurt". Am I right? Or perhaps, "Now that's completely dangerous"? Well, you'd be completely wrong and surely nothing was harmed during the course of the weekend and I assure you, well no, I can almost assure you it was completely safe. I promise!

The drinking, well, I mean, if I said beer flowed from the Abair's pipes, would you believe me? No? Oh. Onward and upward then. Shooting: Jeremiah was able to locate some cheaper bullets for my Granddad's Winchester 71 we inherited. At $3+ a pop, they aren't real budget friendly when it comes to hobbies you know? I can't think of anything much more expensive if you're planning about an hours worth of 'fun'. Jeremiah has been itching to get out for a deer this year, fortunately for the deer, the freezer is full of milk. BWAAAAAHAHA. Jeremiah was hinting that I should make more soap. Tee hee. I do think that I can advertise milk for crafts and animal use here in Kansas so I'll have to look in to that as surely I cannot use all the milk in the freezer!! I was under the impression that advertisement was on your own property only regardless of what the use but I've been reading the entire law and I think it's legal to advertise for non-human consumption, we'll see.



The girls and I cooked and made goat's milk soap and had a wonderful time. We had a yummy goat's milk alfredo, rigatoni and home made pizza for dinner. Our soaps were honey & oatmeal and tangerine & rose hips. I brought the soap molds home, un-molded them last night and cut them all up this morning. Now they need to sit a while to cure.

James and the 'tactical turkey killer' which, incidentally has not killed any turkeys because, at least here in our neck of the woods, you need to sit on the back stoop and shoot them and not actually hunt them!

The boys installed a CB radio, did boy stuff and did some 'down range' lead poisoning. The kids exerted a lot of energy running and playing. As for the Albino squirrel, well, that was just a bizarre bonus. As Jeremiah, the kids and I were leaving yesterday, an albino squirrel crossed our path. Jeremiah tried to get a shot at it...a PHOTO shot for those of you who think he's nothing but a squirrel killer (and eater), but it ran off and all he got was the tire of a truck it ran under. Not very exciting.

Natalie with the .357.

Great weekend had by all! Lots of laughs, lots of stories and lots of fun!

Fleeting

Enjoying the last few fleeting days of warmth before closing up and calling it a day winter.

Ding Dong Dawn

I try to take the girls out to 'the woods' daily. They don't seem to want to go on their own this time of year. 'The woods' are in the NE corner of the property and pretty far out so I can't say I blame them. This time of year looks a little spooky in there. They will go out to the closer mulberry and cottonwood trees to see if any new leaves have fallen. As for grass, there isn't much in the way of that except this cool weather green stuff that's popped up in the last couple weeks. They also like to eat the ceder tree needles this time of year.



Winter's a comin' that's for sure but we have had quite a few very nice 'above average' (temperature wise) days recently. I remember last year, it seemed like Halloween day was the first real cool day and after that, it was all down hill. Two days ago we had a pretty good storm roll through that dropped quite a bit of rain. There wasn't much snow to speak of but it was there. I'd be happier with freezing rain as oppose to snow.

We're better prepared this year, live and learn right? The tarps we put up on the barn (See: 'Winterizing'e a few posts below), I think, are going to work out great! We've yet to get them up on each of the boy's buildings but that'll either be this weekend or next.



Jeremiah is off to St Louis Nov. 16th for a conference. Today he has the college instructor over to certify (in welding) some kids.

The living room is, for the most part complete except for a new front door that will come a bit later...you know, once we buy it and have time to install it =). I'd like to get the hallway walls, ceiling and trim painted before Thanksgiving, but I won't hope for too much. I do need to purchase those thermal curtains though for much of the house. I am even considering putting up a curtain rod over the back door (inside) and installing those thermal curtains for the winter. Man, when that cold wind blows, it just makes no difference if the door is shut tight or not. A curtain over the door may look a bit strange but hey, if it works I don't care!

So, I guess that's about all that's happening in our little world. About half of the does are bred. Kidding starts mid-March and I have every hope it will be decent weather next year! Everyone is looking fit and fine and I recently trimmed and wormed all 3 bucks all by myself. I'm quite proud of that fact. Jeremiah, I am sure, is quite happy as it's really not the most pleasant of jobs. Out of rut isn't such and issue, in rut you're 100% likely to smell vile and have things on your clothing you'd rather not think about.

 I don't know if I mentioned it or not but the 3 boys had all been in a pen together and that just wasn't working. A few of the does were all cycling together and that was just sending the boys into an absolute spastic state. Jeremiah and I rehabbed one of the north pens for them and things have calmed down considerably. The back fence of the north shelter was still that old field fencing. We took that down and installed cattle panels and a walk through gate for access to the new buck pasture that we sectioned off with high tensile electric last spring. The shelter itself also needed a little help that required a few boards to be installed but other than that, it's good to go and secure now.

Poor Storm is by himself but believe me, he's better off. Much of the time he can see the girls but he does get upset when the leave out to the pasture. Once I am sure all the girls are settled (bred), I may move all the boys back into the same pen and see how things go.

Halloween 2011

Halloween came and went. Rachel was a vampire and Drew was Captain America. I made Rachel's costume- a simple black dress with red insert in the skirt- on Saturday. The cape had spider webs on it. She refused to wear the vampire teeth so overall, she new what she was but if you asked a stranger it may have taken them a few guesses. She was happy and that's all that mattered.

Drew's costume ended up being the highlight of my week! I lost a bid on eBay for a Captain America costume because I was running errands. But I stopped at Target for blue pants and a blue hoody, sewed a white star on the front and an 'A' on the hood and he was happy as pig in a wallow! We picked up a white 5 gallon plastic bucket lid from the farm store and I sprayed it and used foam pieces to decorate the rest. Jeremiah pop-riveted a handle on and away we went. Drew refused to wear his normal black gym shoes but opted instead of black loafers. I guess he wanted to be a dressy Captain America, whatever. If he was happy, I was...happy.

Jeremiah was the scariest of all, a welding instructor. I know right?

I spent the afternoon with the kids at school doing crafts and handing out treats. That evening we went to the zoo here in Hutch. It's nice because there's a definite start and a define stop so no whining about not getting enough or wanting to go further and we get to see the animals too. It's not a big zoo but for their age, it's safe (no cars or questionable Reeses Peanut Butter Cups) and perfect really.


So anyway, there you have it.

For the birds

Can you imagine in your mind Barney Rubble trying to back pedal his human-powered vehicle? That's what I am trying to do with winter. How's it workin'? Not so hot. No pun intended. High of 48 tomorrow (which oddly, is the low tonight) and rain. Winter is for the birds.

Storm

Storm is our new 'junior' herdsire that came back from Ca. with us.

Winterizing

 
Jeremiah and I installed the new tarps on the front of the barn this weekend. They are re-purposed used billboard tarps that we cut, installed grommets on and hung up.

I don't mind the open front barn much at all. I love it 3 seasons out of the year. I don't love it in the winter! However, the winter clothes we put on the barn should solve a lot of the issues I was having last winter. One of them was the wind. Cold is one thing. Wind with a side order of cold is quite another. Secondly, rain and snow during the worst of storms can blow half way into this 40' deep barn! That's somewhat of an issue when the goats only get the front 20', know what I mean?

We reconfigured the barn out of necessity for hay storage. If you'll remember, last year we removed all the old wood that had been used to keep horses stalled in the front half and hay was stored in the back 1/4 and the tack room in the other 1/4. I didn't like that the goats could (and did) congregate in the back 1/4 of the barn once we changed it, it was really hard to clean out and so we've changed it yet again they're delegated back to the front portion but they get both sides. I'll also get 2 kidding stalls instead of just the one now. Plus too, with all that hay in the back of the barn (which is the north side) it's built in insulation so it should be that much warmer in there come winter! We're so smart right?

Anyway, we have some tarps to install on the 2 lean to structures that house the bucks but we ran out of grommets and I'll have to order more. Lowes carries them but you have to buy the whole kit. We have two now. I don't need any of the tools to install the grommets. I need JUST the grommets!

We got one last load of hay in this morning (Monday). It was delivered this time! We have enough for sure but in my ongoing quest to find the least inexpensive way to keep the animals fed in the most optimal way, I wanted to try some prairie hay instead of the brome and alfalfa I have been feeding for the past year. Prairie is usually a bit cheaper especially in the round bales like we bought. I have over 100 square bales of brome in the barn that I'll probably sell when the first snow hits as I won't need all of it. We still have 100 bales of alfalfa in the shop sitting on the trailer that we need to unload!

It's a good feeling though, especially with the lack of hay everywhere, that we're overstocked for winter. It's such a huge loads off of our minds, I tell ya. It's taken a year to find good suppliers for hay and has been one of the major hurdles for us but we can finally let out a sigh of relief.

Wordless Wednesday: Pumpkin Patch Field Trip

Revisiting The Poopy Little Potty

Alternately titled: 3 Weeks

I wrote this a few years ago when Andrew was two and we were still living in California. When I have rough days, I reread this and trudge on knowing that even poopy days can be funny...eventually. I thought you might enjoy it too.

The short version of what happens around here in 3 weeks in no coherent order. Some names may have been changed to protect the innocent, er...to respect the dead...whichever.

• wake up
• cook a meal
• eat a meal
• clean up after a meal
• load meal dishes into dishwasher
• convince 2 year old he no longer needs his little potty
• wave bye bye to little potty
• take little potty outside (but not far enough away that 2 year can't eventually find it)
• feed goats
• milk goats
• preschool field trip to local park (we walk)
• 5 year old preschooler breaks away from my hand and nearly runs into street
• retrieve 5 year old and feel like an unfit chaperon
• not invited back to school
• feed goats
• milk goats
• buy grain
• adolescent breakdown (a.k.a. throwing a fit)
• sleep
• eat
• work on new goat pasture
• run electric wire for new goat pasture
• cook a meal
• eat a meal
• clean up after a meal
• adolescent breakdown
• load meal dishes into dishwasher
• feed goats
• milk goats
• fight with ill mannered strong ugly Hephzibah goat
• laundry
• take daughter to preschool
• laundry
• hang laundry out
• adolescent breakdown
• pick up daughter from preschool
• bring laundry in
• throw laundry on chair in corner
• forget about  ignore heaped unfolded laundry in chair
• cook a meal
• eat a meal
• clean up after a meal
• load meal dishes into dishwasher
• feed goats
• milk goats
• fight with ill mannered ugly Hephzibah goat...again
• quiet time with husband toss husband a kiss on the fly as he walks out the door again for work, er school...wait what day is it again???
• cook a meal
• hear about how my 5 year old isn't a vegetarian and will not eat meat
• explain to 5 year old that not being a vegetarian means you eat meat
• so eat the damn dern meat!
• fed up with non-vegetarian non-meat eating 5 year old and I lie saying cow died peacefully in its sleep and if she and ill mannered ugly Hephzibah goat don't behave, ill mannered ugly Hephzibah goat will be on non-vegetarian non-meat eating 5 year old's plate next!
• laughing 2 year old explains he's going to eat Hephzibah goat because she pushes him down in the poop
• disgruntled 5 year old
• satisfied mother
• eat a meal
• find 2 year old swigging my beer
• smile because it's been a long dang day and almost think I hear CPS knocking on my door
• clean up after a meal
• load meal dishes into dishwasher
• sleep
• find son dragging in little potty from outside
• tell 2 year old to take potty back outside
• 2 year old doesn't obey
• adolescent breakdown
• scold 2 year old and put in a time out for being disobedient
• throw potty back outside on the porch
• cook a meal
• eat a meal
• clean up after a meal
• load meal dishes into dishwasher
• answer door bell
• hand neighbor egg salad sandwiches I had made earlier from eggs of over producing chickens.
• walk neighbor to the gate
• step up onto porch and notice there is something in little potty
• decide it's dirt but swear it looks like poop
• realize that neighbors were JUST standing on front porch probably thinking how gross that there is a little potty outside on the porch with poop in it and MUST think I am disgusting for throwing poopy little potty outside on porch instead of cleaning it!
• cook a meal
• eat a meal
• clean up after a meal
• load meal dishes into dishwasher
• ignore little putrid poopy porch potty
• feed goats
• milk goats
• sleep...

Thanksgiving Menu

Dear Cousins,

In our ongoing effort to live frugally off the land -and the fact you'll be coming so far, I really don't expect you to bring the turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, pie and everything else too- I've put together the Thanksgiving Day menu. Read it over and if you need any revisions due to dietary concerns, please let me know.

We had thought about just plain dressing, maybe even going wild and doing a cornbread dressing but all summer long we've had a toad in our garage who has become rather large. He scares the children by jumping out as they venture in to feed the dog in socks or bare feet. I've heard of sausage stuffing before so I figured, what the heck...they eat frog in France, with enough seasoning, I think toad dressing would be really good stuffed inside a bird!

Speaking of the pièce de résistance though, I think we're going to forgo the bird. We considered goat but in an effort to let them grow a bit larger to maximize our "harvest", we decided against either when last night there was a 'possum on the porch that was eating the cat food. He looked rather large and we thought that would certainly be a divine treat! So, unless you object, we're having 'possum. I really think the toad stuffing will lend itself quite well to 'possum!

As for sides, it's been a tough year for the garden due to the lack of rain and persistent 100+ degree temps. All we really got out of it were heaps of dried corn stalks and pricker bushes. So, I'm not entirely sure we'll be having a side or if we'll just be dining on toad stuffing and roasted 'possum while we make corn stalk dolls with prickers for eyes.

Come to think of it, we did get a pretty good rain a few weeks ago that brought back my watermelon plants from the brink of extinction. We never did get any melons off of it but the leaves look pretty good. Maybe I could use some of that extra toad stuffing and do like the Greek do with their stuffed grape leaves. 

The walnut harvest was pretty poor too but we did manage to salvage a few before the squirrels got them. Jeremiah said that squirrel hunting should only happen in the winter due to specific parasites that don't survive in the cold. Squirrel is out of the question for the main course or as a side and with the 'possum and toad, I think we're got the protein covered anyway. As for the walnuts, we don't have a cinnamon tree but do you think black locust tree bark would due in a pinch? Sugar is a staple so I'm kinda wondering how lightly toasted walnuts with a black locust tree bark simple syrup would taste. Yes, that should make a delicious dessert and should be really good over home made goat's milk ice cream.


Variety will be sparse, but I think we'll be okay in the end. It's mostly about family anyway, right?

My love to all, can't wait to see you for Thanksgiving!

P.S. Don't even worry about the pickles and olives, I really think this 'possum will come pretty darn close to those behemoth birds you all buy anyway! They'll be plenty!

We're frugal...and crazy!

Make no mistake, we know how to save a buck. We also feel excitement at the thought of old time farming. Well, okay I do. If Jeremiah had his way, all baling the hay on the property would mean is pushing a few buttons  for coordinates and sitting in an air conditioned cab while the tractor did absolutely everything else. As it stands, A. we do not have the money for a $100K+ tractor and implements that do all that and B. we have nowhere near the property to require that.

What do we have? Let me rephrase that, what do I have? I have a desire to get out there in the coolness of the morning and cut hay...the old fashioned way...with a scythe. I seriously doubt it would be worth it to pay someone to come out and cut and bale it for us. Even swathing it (cutting it) would be cost prohibitive I think. We could do it on a shares system, but I' really like to try my hand at cutting it all by hand.

Jeremiah said when he was younger he could beat the pants off his brothers in a head to head competition- weed eater vs. scythe. In which, he had the scythe and they had the weed eater. I don't doubt it, I've watched videos. And while I am not so naive to think that there isn't some work involved, it could be fun...if for just a little while anyway. So, that's the plan. Where I will find time for this hand cutting and hand baling, I don't know. Maybe by next year somehow in the infinite universe of perpetual time, more time will be created and somehow my body will become less tired and able to work longer. Pipe dream? Perhaps. I'd still like to give it a whirl though.

As far as this hand baling...I'm not so big on the hay stack thing. I thought, for sure in this day and age someone has built a hand baler!! Sure enough, you Google search "hand baler" and up pops a device used a lot in Texas for pine straw bales. Pine straw is nothing more than pine needles baled up and used for landscaping purposes though I am sure this type of hand baler was probably used way way back when in some form before baling machinery came out, or was in its early stages or whatever. ANYWAY, because we have infinite time on our hands (guffaw!), I'd like to build one of them fancy hand balers too. it consists of nothing more than a tall box with a front door and a plunger. Easy enough right? Yeah, I could just see the kids out there with me on a cool sweltering July morning happily begrudgingly carrying arms fulls of sweet smelling itchy dry hay to the hand baler and the joy disgust an disdain on their faces when out pops another heavy bail to move into the barn. Yep, sounds like a right mighty good time!

Kitties and sewing

As usual, we're busy!

A few weekends ago we headed north for our last load of hay. I dare say we'll have plenty but with the way things are, one can not be too prepared. I certainly hope this was just a funny year with the lack of rain. Next year I hope to be baling our own hay, scythe cut (by hand) and baled by hand as well. More on that later.

While up getting hay, we also spent the day at Jo's helping install a bathtub. They adopted 2 kittens and while the kids did not specifically ask for a kitty of their own, they sure did like them. Who couldn't love an adorable kitty? I sure do, at someone elses house! So this non-asking on the part of the children turned into these...a "Beauty" and a "Heidi". Don't ask me how it happened but those are our kitties on our bed! Exactly how does one drive 90 miles to pick up hay and help install a bathtub and come home with 2 kitties? Yeah, I'm kinda stumped too!


I managed to barely get done with fair sewing in time to turn my projects in. Jo and her kids came down Monday and we went to the fair for the day. My diaper took a 3rd place ribbon in the "other than classified" category. As far as I can tell my dress did not place at all. Who would of thunk that a cloth diaper would take 3rd when they probably didn't even know what it was???

Had I known they were into pretty and not function in the dress category, I wouldn't have bothered. Yes, Rachel did get a nice dress out of it but it seems the winners, in this great state of function and form and grit, prefer a wear once, stay the hell out of the dirt and sit quietly with your hands folded in your lap type of outfit. Am I jealous? Not really, just more determined for next year. The other outfits were nice, no doubt. Next year I need more lace and frills apparently and I'll go smaller scale with it...a concentrated form so as not to use so much fabric while making this stay the hell out of the dirt, sit with your hands folded in your lap type of outfit.

I'd be better off in a pine box

The fam. and I attended the Hutch. high football game last night. The half time performance left spit flowing down my chin for the lack of ability to psychically lift up my lower jaw to its normal position being so dumbfounded by the performance of the "drill team" (the Salt Shakers, as they call them). I immediately felt the need to write a letter to the editor of the Hutchinson News. As of Saturday morning it is not sent, but here it is for my loving blog readers to read over while I stew on this.

___________________________________________________________

Call me old fashioned -and for a thirty one year old mother of two children ages 5 and 7 who grew up in LOS ANGELS of all places, I hardly think "old fashioned" is accurate- but the Hutch. High Salt Shakers performance to Kesha's "Boots and Boys" on Friday night has me coining a phrase from a Dierks Bently's song, "What Was She Thinkin". What could the coach(es) have been thinking to allow such a song to be used for a performance of young girls at a high school football game in front of people young and old? I kid you not, it was jaw-dropping! The disbelief of my husband and I as we sat next to our 7 year old daughter while she smiled and moved to the music and greatly admired the girls dance (without completely understanding the full scope of it all) so provocatively to a song with lyrics I wouldn't even let a teenager listen to on You Tube! Our daughter said to me, "I want to be a salt shaker when I grow up!" My response? "I'd be better off in a pine box!"

When did it become okay for teenage girls to dance in such a way? What happened to the great non-sexually oriented corrigraphy of yesterday? What happened to wholesome? My husband, kids and I attend the home games for a few reasons. One: to support the school, support the students and support the community. Secondly: to spend quality time with our children doing something we all enjoy. Normally we'd be at home piled on our bed watching a family movie like we try to do every Friday night after a week separated by school and work and life. It is hard enough to raise children these days with wholesome values, morals, ethics, responsibility, etc. when sending them out in the world but then to also be bombarded by the opposite at -what I would consider- a family friendly event. Perhaps the tractor pull at the fair would have been a better choice!

THIS IS A SMALL PORTION OF WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA! You may say that times are changing and we must change with them. Certain "times" are changing because certain parents and (ir)responsible adults are getting lazy and have little to no values themselves apparently. Is that too harsh for a seemingly innocent dance to a seemingly innocent song by seemingly innocent young girls? I think not.

That single performance leaves me wondering if we should even be attending football games any longer. At the very least, one of the most favorite parts to the whole event (half time) will be spent visiting the concession; and while I am not at all opposed to supporting the concession, I'd really like to support the rest of the contributors too! At least the band and concession haven't also joined the ranks of ludicrous! I can just barely deal with profanity screaming fans in the stands (after all, it IS just a game!) but to have to blindfold and put hearing protection on my children to shield them from the half time show is absurd. I wonder, is the bathroom a safe haven during the half time show for those patrons who didn't come to a night club? Sitting away from the cheerleaders explicit moves is optional, bombardment by the drill team was not.

The coaches, parents and responsible adults in charge of these young girls are doing them a serious injustice. 

"Another One [family event] Bites the Dust".

Disappointed in Hutch.
Amanda Harmon
Hutchinson, Ks.

We're ants, not grasshoppers!

Collecting and stacking

100 bales- too tired to stack in the barn so we backed it into the shop. The next best thing!

We drove up to Abilene on Saturday early in the morning to pick up another hundred bales of alfalfa. Our last load I think! Then we went to Jo's. She's getting the house ready to put on the market and Jeremiah installed a bathtub that ended up taking 2 days. Remodeling is never EVER simple and there's always snags in the road. Jeremiah and I ended up driving back late Saturday night so that I could feed and milk Sunday morning. The kids stayed. He was able to finish it up Sunday and by Sunday afternoon we were back on the road again and pooped! Every single one of us!

I am still working on the Living room! Yesterday I finally got the ceiling primed after the whole fiasco of the little bit of texture that was left started peeling off I went ahead and re-textured it with soupy drywall mud and a texture roller. I should be able to finish up the living room this weekend.

Jeremiah cut down a bunch of old dead or dying trees about the property. The kids and I started collecting from the many stacks we had around and putting it in one central location. What we got done, the children though, was plenty to get us though. I chuckled because ALL of what we collected and stacked in a few hours yesterday was about all we did to start last year beginning in October and we thought it would be plenty. Turns out it was plenty...for about 3 weeks! Then we were out again. HA! Another year old and another year wiser, we'll keep collecting and stacking little by little so that we're not grumbling about getting out on a cold January day to do it out of necessity!

The old timers this that because of the hard summer we've had, we should expect an equally hard winter. They say for as many days over we've had (I lost count), we'll have as many days below freezing...or was it below zero?? Oy, I'd appreciate neither.

Slow but sure...

First day(s) of school

So, I did the math

 I have seen a few ads on Craigslist for alfalfa locally at $10 a bale (whether it's actually local alfalfa or hauled in I don't know). For all you Californians, you're probably saying, 'wow, what a deal' (providing you even have a clue as to what a bale of alfalfa is even going for these days, or care). Yeah, NO! Here in the Mid-West, "small squares" bales tend to be 2 string (or wire, yes they still use wire) and are anywhere from 55 to 65 lbs. What does that equate to? Based on an average (60 lbs.), that equates to you Californian's paying $18.33 a bale. Can you believe that??? This is Kansas, not Alaska!This drought is driving people mad in more ways than one.We're not crazy on this farm though. Not entirely anyway. We're driving hundreds of miles to save substantially because at $10 a bale NOW, can you imagine what it's going to be when the first snow hits??? Oy! 

Death By Dairy Goat

That's going to be the header of the Hutchinson News after the state fair. The main title reads: "Judge Mauled to Death by Dairy Goat While Handler (Amanda Harmon), Fair Patrons, and Exhibitors Stare in Disbelief"

Think about it. Dairy goats have no upper teeth. They are herbivores and, for the most part, are very sweet natured. -Except for 'Hephzibah', that is, but that's altogether different.- So, it would come across as unbelievable-flat out impossible one would think- to die at the hands hooves lower incisors, of a dairy goat. But, I think I have something on my hands that nears the unthinkable.

Let me back up for a bit. This past year -I keep thinking about the past year- has been one class after another at the school of hard knocks. Just when we think we have it down, Professor You'vegotta'notherthingcoming insists otherwise. Little by -one step forward two falls on the ice later- little, we're making it and piecing it together and figuring it all out. Alone, mind you. I used to think I was a fairly intelligent person. However, Kansas -of all places- has proven me otherwise. Thank you Kansas for putting me in my proverbial- you are really an idiot after all- place.

I can't say I'm grateful, so let's just say I'm devouring my humble pie at a rate any humble pie eater could be proud of. I can't imagine though you want to hear me get up on my soap box about how hard life is here in Kansas. I am pretty sure I made fun of those who couldn't hack the Mid-West and moved their convertible driving <insert profane word substituted for the padded part of ones back side> back to California. Not us, no. We're "true grit", as they would say. Either that or too stupid to tuck tail and run. Regardless, we're still here. It would not be surprising, however, if the straw that broke the camel's goat's back was something like a judge being mauled by our -otherwise- sweet natured girl(s).

Anyway, back to the headlines of the local paper. Rachel and I have been working with the goats getting them ready for the fair. The goat kids never want to lead nicely and so it takes some work dragging them while they choke and scream and convulse teaching them how to act like the good little show goats they are and not some rampaging blood thirsty rabid beasts of burden obnoxious heathens.

The older does lead just fine. They'd prefer to be off doing other things of course but, for the most part, put up with our "horse and pony show" routine. I figure, you know, they lead a pretty good life; the least they can do is behave on the milk stand and stand in a god awful show pose every once in a while to appease me. I truly don't ask for much! Apparently though, FD, has other plans. I do believe she is plotting an attack of epic proportion, kind of like Rambo meets Animal Farm.

I have practiced with her twice now and twice she has tried to maul me while I try to set up her legs. Okay, maybe maul isn't the right word, but she sure is trying to take a hunk outta whatever part of me she can reach. She is so sweet natured -otherwise-. I think it's a cover though. For all these years she has been waiting for her moment to seek revenge for all the terrible things that have gone wrong in her life. I don't know exactly what those things are, but I'm guessing she thinks her life has just been awful for her to behave this way!

I told her yesterday (in a very sing songy irritated voice), despite liking her very much -otherwise-, I was not above selling her, that she is a show goat whether she likes it or not and if she cannot fill that slot like a good little goat, she could be permanently relocated to the goat sausage stuffing plant just as easily as the extra buck kids!

To be honest, I don't think she understood me. I will give her the benefit of the doubt, chock it up to a bad day, and drive on but I will be darned if my name is on the front page of the newspaper the day after the fair for something of that magnitude. Having the only goat in history to maul someone is not something I'd really like to be known for. I am sure you can understand.

Questions from Mom

Q: Where did you get that fancy bale mover? 

It's not ours. The tractor and grapler belong to the hay grower. 

Q: How long does it take you to unload the trailer when its full?

Depends. A few of the loads (entire or partial) have been for other people and sometimes it's delivered and partially unloaded one day and we unload ours (if we take part of the load) a different day. Throwing them down for someone else to carry and stack is quick! We unloaded seventy some bales for ourselves this afternoon and it took us about an hour to get them all into the barn and stacked neatly. Jeremiah's brother, Matt, was here for a week and a half and they were able to get 100 bales of alfalfa loaded into the south shelter in about 45 minutes and it was about 108 degrees out. We were lucky today, it was only in the 90's.
*********************************************************
Jeremiah was in Tulsa last week learning more about MIG welding with Airgas (welding supply company).

Q: Was the trip worthwhile?  
He thinks so. "You should never stop learning", he says. He learned some new things so in that case, yes, it was worth while.


Q:When does school start officially?  
 Jeremiah will have students on the 21st I believe. Rachel starts this coming Friday and Drew starts a week from Monday.


Q: Will you be glad to have some time for yourself?
Yes and no. It will take some time getting used to. I am very excited about the coming year. I have a lot planned- soap making for the business, goat breeding, house painting, general organization, etc. I am anxious for the children to be back at school. This summer has been rough with the temps forcing them to be inside much of the time.

The past year has been tough on us. There's been so much that we've had to learn the hard way and not because we were so hard headed we didn't take other's advice. There's been no advice! We've been treading a new path into uncharted territory in a way and it's been a huge learning experience. One we're glad we've had the opportunity to partake in but still. I thought we worked hard before!

Misc. Photos

What happens when you let your 7 year old have free reign with the camera.


How to make loading easy!Eight at a time!



Pretty tired of looking at this stuff but grateful we've got it!